Home » Wellness » Relationships » How common is sibling attraction?
In this article, we answer some common questions about intimate relationships with family members. How common is sibling attraction? Are sisters attracted to their brothers? Why am I sexually attracted to my brother?
Genetic sexual attraction
Can a brother fall in love with his sister? What happens when siblings mate? Are intimate relationships with family members a crime in the UK? What about other countries? Keep reading to find the answers to all of these questions, and even more — the reasons behind sibling relationships. If you investigate the subject beyond the surface, you find that these relationships are more widespread than you think and, in many cases, not only consensual but also motivated by the same things as conventional adult relationships: love, need, desire, loneliness and attraction.
This raises many ethical questions about consent, victimization, legality and morality, but also a very important one: can someone have a healthy, consensual relationship, both sexual and emotional, with a close relative?
It is difficult to persuade psychologists to officially talk about this topic outside the abusive context because they fear that it would legitimize it and that would undermine the victims of cases of non-consensual relationships with other family members. But the general opinion is that one of the important factors of consensual intimate family relationships seems to be both the fractured nature of modern families and their closeness to other families. Sibling incest is not very common, even though it is assumed to be very common.
There is a lot of representation of sibling incest in mainstream pornography, but in real life, this sort of relationship is not very common, because of various genetic reasons. Sibling incest used to be even more uncommon but because of how common it has become in mainstream media.
Brother sister incest is not as common as it is portrayed to be in media or in pornography. Father daughter incest, which is about There are enough cases of romantic and passionate love between brother and sister to convince us that yes, it can happen. The first and most important thing is to try to understand the nature of your feelings and why brotherly love seems to have turned into romantic, passionate love.
I am attracted to my brother and it does not feel wrong
If you feel that you have fallen in love with your brother or sister, it is very possible to try to deny your feelings, to ignore them, to try to find other explanations than that you really love your brother or sister in a way that is socially unacceptable. It is important to know that denying what you feel does not help you most of the time — it can even hurt you. Therefore, it is important to know, analyze and understand your feelings, to try to find out how a brotherly love becomes more. If you feel that you have fallen in love with your brother or sister, it may be the strong, deep feelings of co-dependence.
When two brothers go through many things together, usually through difficult situations and stay close to each other, protecting and comforting each other, they may begin to feel dependent on each other, needing to be with each other to feel safe. Addiction that is extremely similar to passionate love, in which you feel that you need the other more than anything else.
The older brother or sister often feels a deep protective love, taking care of the youngest, while the latter learns to depend on the former. A deep co-dependence is created, and the siblings may feel that they cannot bear to live separately, to live with other people in this situation a psychologist can help: no type of co-dependence relationship is healthy!
All this shows that love between brother and sister can take various forms for various reasons; of course, often love is felt only by one of the brothers, the other unaware of the existing feelings. Many people say either that a romantic, passionate, physical love between brothers and sisters is impossible, or that it is about unnatural exceptions.
And yet, it happens: and the simplest argument to prove that yes, there may be such a kind of love between brother and sister lies in the very taboo of intimate family relationships!
If naturally there was no physical attraction between first-degree relatives, then why, since ancient times, human societies have felt the requirement to strictly impose the taboo of intimate family relationships, to clearly regulate the rules, to impose severe punishment? Because this attraction may exist — but given the fact that it is neither socially nor biologically desirable children from such unions are at extremely high risk of genetic defects this taboo was created and imposed in all human societies, this prohibition of intimate family relationships of course, in some cultures this taboo referred only to parents and children, brothers being allowed to be together.
In psychology and psychiatry, it is often discussed about an extension of the famous Oedipus complex; more precisely, romantic love and sexual attraction do not go to the opposite-sex parent, but to the opposite-sex brother. Think about what your brother or sister meant to you, what made you close and unique, what you find and love in his person.
When feelings are obsessive, you can find attract and understanding by calling a psychologist no obsession is healthy, especially if we are talking about this complex of brother or sister. Psychologists talk about Why cases in which a brother and a sister who grew up separated in childhood meet again and fall in love with each other. Every person is attracted to certain traits similar to his own and siblings have similar traits, even similar levels of intelligence, even similar interests and abilitiesbut also traits that seem familiar these are traits that the person remembers to loved ones in childhood: parents, grandparents, other ificant adults in the life of the young.
Therefore, this similarity and familiarity suddenly found in a person gives birth to an intense attraction, an attraction that takes the form of romantic or passionate love, even if normally a brother and a sister would not have such a connection. Why does it happen most often that someone falls in love with his brother or sister after they have been separated for a long time? It is an effect that is believed to be naturally programmed to prevent intimate family relationships. The constant closeness le to saturation of stimuli and too much familiarity between brother and sister, which kills any attraction.
This can be seen even in people who are not relatives, but who grow up in the same house: for example, children who are raised together, once adults, do not feel attracted to each sister, looking for more distant partners. They have simply become too familiar, too close, so they feel brotherly love and not a romantic and physical one. On the other hand, if two children grow up separately, once they see each other again, they can feel that deep connection given by genetics and can interpret it as romantic love there is sexually feeling that you have found your soulmate because a brother or a sister does not only share common traits but also share something of your being, genetic material and maybe spirit.
There is a certain familiarity, but there is no saturation of stimuli — on the contrary, this familiarity is paradoxically perceived as new and exciting.
Brother and sister are instinctively attracted to each other and because there is no saturation of stimuli to kill any trace of physical attraction, they will fall in love with each other romantically and passionately there is that unique connection that exists between any brother and sister, but is doubled by attraction. When siblings mate, meaning having sexual relationships, perhaps the biggest consequence could be the birth of.
From co-consanguinity n. The resulting children may have malformations, retardation, Down syndrome, depending on the recessive genes. They can appear from visible organic malformations to some detectable only through investigations.
Intimate family relationships is mostly accepted in the adult industry, where it is the most consumed type of adult-content. However, these relationships — even consensual ones — can have dire long-term consequences.
That is why there is little chance that this will ever be accepted as normal or a comfortable topic of discussion. It is an offence for a man to have sexual intercourse with a woman whom he knows to be his grand-daughter, daughter, sister or mother.
It is an offence for a woman of the age of sixteen or over to permit a man whom she knows to be her grandfather, father, brother or son to have sexual intercourse with her by her consent. Speaking of other countries, however, intimate family relationships between parent and child is universally seen as abusedue to the unequal power dynamics between parent and child that does not allow for informed consent.
But the dynamic between the brothers revolves in more turbulent waters, from a legal and ethical point of view. Although no data on consensual intimate relationships has been collected anywhere in the world, the statistics are quite surprising. In the United States, in the s, it was estimated that between one hundred thousand and one million cases of intimate family relationships occurred annually.
The scale of global intimate family relationships varies depending on the s you look at — generally due to the very private nature of the phenomenon that prevents accurate data collection — but it is believed that between ten and twenty per cent of the population have intimate family relationships. In Brazil, the rate ranges from 0. It is actually quite common for brothers and sisters to experiment, but this experimentation tends to happen before they reach puberty in most cases, and it usually does not go farther than the brother and sister trying to understand sexuality through exploration with each other.
Furthermore, brothers and sisters experimenting is more common with cousins rather than with real brother and sister, because of a hypothesis known as the Westermarck impact, which states that people who live together through the formative years may become desensitized to each other in terms of sexual attraction.
There has been a rather steep rise in videos about taboo relationships between step sisters or step brothers and experimentation between sexually and sisters or even step fathers and step daughters. Sexual attraction between people who are related is usually uncommon, but that does not mean that it is uncommon for brothers and sisters to experiment, but it may be possible that it is more common among kin members who are separated at birth, and they may feel sexual attraction towards each other more so than those that have lived together since they were young.
Additionally, sometimes brothers and sisters experiment due to them meeting only once in a while, or in cases where the parent is not the same, that is, attract brothers and sisters, which is also considered legal in many places, and states in the United States.
Side Note : I have tried and tested various products and services to help with my anxiety and depression. See my top recommendations hereas well as a full list of all products and services our team has tested for various mental health conditions and general wellness. A brother might be attracted to his sister because of the simple reason that he is curious about the opposite sex and therefore it is causing him to look towards a source that is familiar and comfortable from which he can learn about it.
In some cases, a brother might also be attracted to his sister because he is hormonal or approaching puberty and he has mistaken a general curiosity and need for sexual release as attraction, which is something that happens even in adults, so it can definitely happen in adolescents. Another possible reason why a brother might be attracted to his sister may be that they have not lived together all their lives, and that makes it easy for them to see each other as virtual strangers rather than people who are related in some way.
An individual might have a physical relationship with their sister as a means of experimentation or understanding sexuality, and these relationships tend to begin around the ages of 9 to 16 because this is the time when they start to discover their sexual organs and sexual feelings. In some cases, a sister relationship between sister and brother or even just two sisters may also come about as a game, and then continue because it seems fun, or it might also continue because the thrill of doing something that is wrong may add to the game, causing it to go on longer than it would otherwise.
You may be attracted to your Why sister because you are hormonal and perhaps you are not able to reach out to members of the sex you are attracted to outside of the family, because of social anxiety or other factors, like not being able to leave.
How common is sibling attraction? (+9 scary facts)
There are some other reasons why you might be attracted to your older sister, some of which include:. Whatever the reason for you being attracted to your older sister, it is not something that is totally normal, and you need to talk to somebody about it, especially if it is causing you ificant distress. GSA between half siblings stands for Genetic Sexual Attraction between half siblings, that is, a genetic sexual attraction between people who have either a mother or father in common, but not both. GSA is a description of a rather powerful sexual attraction that occurs when biological relatives like half siblings, or even parent and child, or siblings meet for the first time as adults and expereince attraction towards each other despite sharing genetic material.
GSA between half siblings, siblings, parents and children or even cousins, is a concept that has been around since the s when it was first identified by Barbara Gonyo, who fell madly in love with her son. Genetic sexual attraction happens when estranged people who share blood relations meet for the first time in their adulthood, which means that they basically meet as strangers who might not even be related. The evolutionary perspective behind GSA in half siblings, siblings or cousins may simply be that nature tries to propel forward the process of procreation, due to which the genetic and biological ties are immediately turned into potential factors for successful progeny.
There have been many instances of GSA between half siblings and real siblings as well, like in this case, where a woman met her long lost brother after 36 years and immediately became attracted to him:. They had dinner after the initial meeting, and after that they had consensual sex, about which she says:.
Dear mary: i have sexual fantasies about my sister, even when i'm with my wife
You might be attracted to family members because you have not been able to get adequate release with people or because you have experienced dysfunctional family ties which have led to a blurring of familial boundaries, leading to a sexualization of family members. We are usually not attracted to family members because we have always lived with them and this desensitizes us to them sexually, and le to not feeling attraction towards them.
However, there are some cases in which one might be attracted to their family members, one instance may be when they have not always lived with their family members, and therefore they are meeting for the first time after reaching puberty so they see each other as practically strangers.
Another instance, which most people may consider much more problematic for various reasons, is when there is a psychological distance between the family members, which may not be as ificant as a physical or geographical distance in real life, but it may be just as potent in leading to attraction between family members.
When there is no connection between the family members, the possibility of attraction between them becomes much higher, and while it may seem odd that distant members in a family may be attracted to each other, it is possible when there is no hostility, just distance. In fact, attraction between cousins does often culminate into marriage or serious relationships as well, which shows in the fact that these states allow marriage between cousins:.